Issue date: 4/1/05 Section: Opinion

Laura Kazakevicius

What are the gods of the major television networks thinking? Do they honestly believe that aliens have abducted American audiences and had their brains sucked out? It seems that all there is to watch these days is "reality" television that is so far gone from reality that even a monkey parading as a nurse on NBC's daytime drama Passions starts to sound believable.

The reality train started with MTV's The Real World. "Seven strangers picked to live in house..." that is a mansion filled with the latest technological and architectural advances that companies are getting free advertising for. The kids in this string of shows are a parade of stereotypes. There is always the drama queen, the jock, the sensitive gay guy, the angry lesbian, and of course the token black guy. In their latest installment the token black guy happened to be a handsome, brooding homosexual. Also, it seems that in order to qualify for the show one has to have some deep-set emotional problems that have scarred one's childhood, such as eating disorders, rape, molestation and so forth. I wonder if MTV pays for the therapy bills of these reality stars?

What is even sadder is that these kids end up making endless comebacks in reunion shows and spin-offs such as the Road Rules/Real World Challenge. These shows become their full-time jobs because no one else is hiring has-been "reality stars." Their lives revolve around the cameras. Who knows when they stop acting and "start getting real." The cast of "characters" expands throughout the years, but the story line stays the same. The chicks are always bitching and whining about someone or something and the guys are horsing around in their posh pad, usually a mansion of some sort in an exotic locale, with a gorgeous view of the sandy beach and inviting ocean. If this is reality, then send me a ticket and I will be the first one on that train.

Another reality baby that is a hit is Survivor. I'll be honest, I was addicted to the first two seasons, but the show has been getting recycled for the past few runs, with the same challenges being used over and over again. I found the torturous and arduous plight of the survivors in Africa rather entertaining because the show was still fresh and the writers were coming up with great torture techniques to test the bounds of human strength and perseverance. Plus, Colby Donaldson became America's darling with those precious dimples, an awesome body, and a heart of gold *sigh.

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