Bad jokes, worse plot; this Pacifier sucks
A.J. Berna
Issue date: 3/11/05 Section: Arts and Entertainment
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The Pacifier is a Disney movie. Given that, it is a little bit forgivable at how cheesy it is.
The short version of the story is that Vin Diesel plays a Navy SEAL who has to protect a family from evil terrorists that want to get a national secret defense program that is hidden in their house. Because last time I checked, that's where the Department of Defense hid all of their secrets, in freelance scientist's homes. Oh, they also don't know where the secret program is, so while protecting the kids, Vin has to search for the program, because it is so important, they put a Navy Seal on the case.
The movie is directed by Adam Shankman. You might remember his other work: Bringing Down the House and A Walk to Remember. Clearly he is adding onto his impressive resume.
Vin Diesel, who is not a gas, is famous (infamous?) for his role in xXx and as that guy from Pitch Black.
Lauren Graham, from Bad Santa and Gilmore Girls, is the female lead in the movie (All five or ten minutes of it). She definitely was underused. (If you have seen Bad Santa, you know she can be funny) Anyway, her role is as a former Navy personnel who has become a school principal. Wow, weird coincidence, huh? A Navy SEAL meets a Navy office while on duty. Not obvious at all. Nope.
Brittany Snow is the eldest child, and the one going through all of the teen angst and had the most trouble. She wasn't that great.
The only other mentionable character is the vice principal Murney, played by Brad Garrett (Ray's brother on Everybody Loves Raymond). He was a very atypical character. He had some great one-liners, and some good jokes that continued throughout the movie.
This movie did produce some laughs, but most of the good jokes were a little dated, and the rest were either seen a mile off or not original or just not funny. It seems that this movie might have been shelved for a year or two, because the soundtrack was full of songs that seemed a little older.
Although the movie is a kid's movie, so is Shrek. And Shrek was just as funny (if not more so) for adults as it was for kids. This movie didn't even attempt it, except maybe in small doses. Just enough to appease parents who brought their children, and even then it is a stretch.
There were two surprises I didn't see coming, and I won't ruin them for the eight of you who might still see the movie, but both of them were at least decent attempts at adding a little depth to the plot. They didn't really help, but they tried.
Secret Government Rating Scale Hidden in AJ's Dorm Room:
Plot: 3
Jokes: 4
Brad Garrett: 7
Corniness: Your 3 daily servings
Overall: 4.3
This movie was pretty bland all around. It had a couple funny parts, but nothing worth six dollars.
The short version of the story is that Vin Diesel plays a Navy SEAL who has to protect a family from evil terrorists that want to get a national secret defense program that is hidden in their house. Because last time I checked, that's where the Department of Defense hid all of their secrets, in freelance scientist's homes. Oh, they also don't know where the secret program is, so while protecting the kids, Vin has to search for the program, because it is so important, they put a Navy Seal on the case.
The movie is directed by Adam Shankman. You might remember his other work: Bringing Down the House and A Walk to Remember. Clearly he is adding onto his impressive resume.
Vin Diesel, who is not a gas, is famous (infamous?) for his role in xXx and as that guy from Pitch Black.
Lauren Graham, from Bad Santa and Gilmore Girls, is the female lead in the movie (All five or ten minutes of it). She definitely was underused. (If you have seen Bad Santa, you know she can be funny) Anyway, her role is as a former Navy personnel who has become a school principal. Wow, weird coincidence, huh? A Navy SEAL meets a Navy office while on duty. Not obvious at all. Nope.
Brittany Snow is the eldest child, and the one going through all of the teen angst and had the most trouble. She wasn't that great.
The only other mentionable character is the vice principal Murney, played by Brad Garrett (Ray's brother on Everybody Loves Raymond). He was a very atypical character. He had some great one-liners, and some good jokes that continued throughout the movie.
This movie did produce some laughs, but most of the good jokes were a little dated, and the rest were either seen a mile off or not original or just not funny. It seems that this movie might have been shelved for a year or two, because the soundtrack was full of songs that seemed a little older.
Although the movie is a kid's movie, so is Shrek. And Shrek was just as funny (if not more so) for adults as it was for kids. This movie didn't even attempt it, except maybe in small doses. Just enough to appease parents who brought their children, and even then it is a stretch.
There were two surprises I didn't see coming, and I won't ruin them for the eight of you who might still see the movie, but both of them were at least decent attempts at adding a little depth to the plot. They didn't really help, but they tried.
Secret Government Rating Scale Hidden in AJ's Dorm Room:
Plot: 3
Jokes: 4
Brad Garrett: 7
Corniness: Your 3 daily servings
Overall: 4.3
This movie was pretty bland all around. It had a couple funny parts, but nothing worth six dollars.