Fuller from England
The Profile in England
Matt Fuller
Issue date: 4/25/03 Section: Opinion
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Front Page: Hendrix-in-London students meet Londoner. In an effort to increase cultural awareness, Hendrix students Wednesday rebelled against the impending threat of unwritten papers by exiting their residence at 20 Bedford Place by way of the front door, favoring instead the nearby alcohol-tendering facilities of both clubs and pubs. Reports of ideological exchange with native speakers were greatly exaggerated, however, as one displaced Warrior (ha) mused, "I can't understand these goddamn colonials. Why don't they learn Amurr'kn?"
Opinions: War is so bad and stuff. I am spoiled and want to go home. This is like the worst season of "The Real World" EVER. I'm so happy to be here I don't actually do anything. I think I went to Amsterdam...
News: Hendrix in London students travel about the isle. Students seeking "local colour" were subjected to an eight-hour theatrical production of William Shakespeare's As You Like It.
Said one shattered Hendroxide, "Phish's second set on New Year's 2000 was eight hours, so I thought something else that long might be cool...but they wouldn't even let us go pee pee." Spirits were quickly revived by a thankfully misogynistic production of The Taming of the Shrew and an extended, eight-hour stay in the Dirty Duck tavern.
Internet Update: Still faster than at Hendrix, including the 30-minute round trip from the Internet Cafe.
Campus Life: Just like Hendrix; no sports teams here either.
In-Depth Interview with Matt Fuller: Gawd, I'm hung over.
Creative Cuisine: Tired of the same old pub food? No? Me neither. Pass the vinegar, bitch.
Music Reviews: tATu: Russian for "will create tent pole." Remarked one male Hendrix listener after watching the Russian duo's video for "All the things she said" on mute: "My pants are tight."
John Mayer: Turns out, listening to this tripe halfway 'round the world doesn't help. He makes catchy music the same way syphilis makes catchy sores.
The Beer Taster: Now, I hate to be a semantic stick-in-the-mud, but being here has illuminated my heretofore limited and illegal understanding of the world of barley and oat sodas. I have since come to realize that most of the alleged beers reviewed in previous of the Beer Taster are, according to the law of the land, not actuallybeers but "lagers." Beer and Lager are, in fact, two separate entities.
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