The Beer Taster
Christopher Simeone
Issue date: 11/8/02 Section: Entertainment
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Mickey's
The Forty Ounce Challenge:
It's time for me to express the great love I have for carbonated beverages, especially those that come in the classic quantity of 40 ounces. When it comes to these big boys, there is one undisputed king: Mickey's. True, no one at the party will be able to tell the difference because your drink is still in the paper sack, but the pleasure of Mickey's is best reserved for the owner. I love Mickey's for many reasons, but the most important is that Mickey's is malt liquor and that there's a lot of it. I especially like enjoying Mickey's during the long weeks of cross-country training. Sure, for others more resistant to alcohol, one "forty" isn't enough. But after being dehydrated from a seven-mile run in the summer, my body's defenses are especially vulnerable to poison. It's on evenings like this that Mickey's hits like a truck and keeps on driving. It also tastes pretty good.
Old Milwaukee
The other contender in our ring this week is a less meaty comrade, the 40-ounce bottle of Old Milwaukee. The first strike here is that this beverage is not malted. This means that we miss out on all the great hitting power of our beloved green-bottled cousin. On the plus side, though, Old Milwaukee has a smoother taste than its more popular college counterpart, "the beast." Perhaps the one virtue Old Milwaukee has over Mickey's is in this realm of taste. If both beers are left out for over an hour, Old Milwaukee maintains its mediocre flavor, while Mickey's undergoes a mysterious transformation from beer into urine. Also take comfort in the fact that a forty of Old Milwaukee is still 40 ounces of something. Though not as powerful or as classy, this beer is still a great treat for mellow parties, post-training snacks, or study breaks.
Remember that if you choose to perform your own beer testing, make sure you do so responsibly. Don't drink and drive, please.
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